


Zoro's Guest

by elenniel



Category: One Piece
Genre: F/M, the sanji/nami ship is relatively minor here
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-29
Updated: 2019-12-29
Packaged: 2021-02-27 13:35:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,119
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22017985
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/elenniel/pseuds/elenniel
Summary: The Straw Hats did not often get personal mail, so when a letter arrives for Zoro (of all people) and he announces a visitor, it becomes a matter of immense interest to the crew.
Relationships: Nami/Vinsmoke Sanji, Perona/Roronoa Zoro
Comments: 11
Kudos: 131





	Zoro's Guest

**Author's Note:**

> Takes place somewhere down the line, when Luffy is already Pirate King. I wondered what that meeting would be like, and what the Straw Hats would do when Perona shows up as Zoro's girlfriend. xD 
> 
> * This fic probably makes the most sense if you've read [The Diary of Dracule Mihawk](https://archiveofourown.org/works/14844455/chapters/34360583) or at least [The Book](https://archiveofourown.org/works/22017802) (which is much shorter than Diary) first. But hopefully it still makes sense on its own!

The Straw Hats did not often get personal mail. Franky got the most; his Franky Family members often sent effusive letters talking about their latest exploits and asking Franky about his. Occasionally one would come from Iceberg, usually to tell him of some new developments in shipbuilding. The others who received mail every now and then were Nami, Chopper, Usopp, Brook, and Robin. Nami received letters from Nojiko, Chopper got postcards from Dr. Kureha, Usopp’s mail came from Kaya, Brook got fan mail, and Robin’s infrequent mail came from various persons whom she’d met during the two years that the crew had been divided.

Jinbe didn’t receive mail because he didn’t need it. He got his updates on his friends from the fish in the sea, which rather fascinated everyone. Sanji didn’t get mail, but he didn’t mind; the Baratie chefs were not the letter-writing sort. Luffy and Zoro didn’t get mail, which surprised no one at all. They too were not the letter-writing sort, nor even the letter- _reading_ sort (in fact, Luffy’s and Zoro’s literacy levels were a matter of some debate between Usopp and Nami and Chopper).

So it was a tremendous surprise to Nami when the delivery bird flew past one morning and dropped a letter addressed to Zoro on her head as she emerged from her bedroom.

Zoro was in the dining room, already busy with his breakfast. Nami walked up to him and gave him the letter. “This is apparently for you.”

Sanji sauntered past her with a plate of sandwiches in one hand and a bowl of soup in the other, pausing to give her a good morning kiss before she sat down. “The _Marimo_ got a letter?” he said. “And I thought Luffy becoming Pirate King was a wondrous thing!”

“Zoro, I didn’t know you could read!” said Luffy from behind a stack of pancakes (topped, Nami noticed, with slices of bacon).

“My thoughts exactly,” whispered Usopp to Nami.

“ _I can read_ ,” growled Zoro. “And I’ll read it later.” He stuffed the letter in between the folds of his haramaki.

“Okay,” Luffy said, shrugging it off. He wasn’t particularly curious about it.

Jinbe too did not find it a curious matter, but all the others certainly did. Their curiosity increased when, at dinner, Zoro abruptly said, “Hey, Luffy. A friend of mine is coming to visit. That okay with you?”

Six pairs of eyes and one pair of eye sockets looked at Zoro with great interest. 

“Sure!” Luffy stuffed a butter-covered slice of grilled meat into his mouth. “When?”

“Maybe in about five days.”

Zoro offered no further information, and Luffy didn’t ask for any.

But for the next five days, speculation was rife aboard the Thousand Sunny as to who Zoro’s mystery friend was.

In the men’s bedroom, Usopp paced the floor while Chopper and Franky watched him. He said, “Who do you think it is?”

“He won’t talk about it!” said Chopper. “I tried asking him but all he said was, ‘Why do you care?’ And he kind of had a scary aura so I didn’t ask him anymore after that.”

“Which is EXTRA SUSPICIOUS,” declared Usopp. “Why won’t he talk about it?”

“Mmm. Maybe it’s a woman!” suggested Franky.

Usopp said, “I thought about that! But… Like… _Who_? Who would it be? And why won’t he tell us?”

Chopper gasped and clapped his hooves to his mouth. “Do you think Zoro has a _girlfriend_?”

“It must be – otherwise why be so secretive?”

“That would be pretty suuuper!”

“She’d have to be superhuman to tolerate him.” Usopp thought about Zoro’s obsession with his swords and shuddered.

“We’ll find out soon, I guess,” said Franky. “His ‘friend’ is supposed to arrive tomorrow.”

“He sure doesn’t act like he’s going to have a lady friend to visit,” said Usopp, rubbing his chin thoughtfully. “You’d think he’d be taking baths every day and giving his swords an extra shine or something. But he’s just doing what he usually does – train and sleep and drink.”

Sanji could have corrected Usopp there. Zoro did continue his usual activities, but… Sanji knew for a fact that for the last two days Zoro had been taking a bath at three in the morning – after everyone else had gone to bed and before Zoro’s usual bedtime. He had discovered this entirely by accident when he’d woken up feeling thirsty and saw Zoro heading for the bathroom, carrying a towel. He’d already had his own idea about the identity of Zoro’s visitor, and if Zoro was suddenly taking a bath in the dead of night just two days after his regular weekly bath, his hunch was probably correct. He slept lightly the following night and again detected Zoro sneaking off to the bathroom at around the same time. He’d smirked in the darkness before drifting back to sleep.

Sanji played dumb, however, and pretended to be as clueless as all the rest. His only awkward moment came when he was lounging on the sofa in the aquarium bar with Nami one evening and she brought up the topic of Zoro’s guest.

“Don’t you think it’s strange that he won’t tell us who it is?” she said.

Uh oh. He always found it hardest to lie to Nami. But to tell Nami about it would be to break the gentleman’s agreement he had with Zoro.

“It is, but you know him… He’s not the talkative kind anyway.”

“It’s all so mysterious! Who do you think it is?”

“Well…” Sanji attempted to come up with a random guess. “Mihawk? Or some other old sword master.”

Nami put her legs up on a stool. “If that was the case, he’d have told us straightaway. No, I don’t think it’s Mihawk or anything as simple as that. There must be _something_ to this.”

“Hmmm.” Sanji did his best impression of being deep in thought.

“Usopp thinks it’s a woman. Some secret girlfriend, perhaps.”

“Or a secret wife?”

Nami was incredulous. “Zoro having a girlfriend is difficult enough to believe. I _really_ doubt he’s secretly married.”

 _And he’d better not be_ , thought Sanji. _He’d never let me live it down if he gets married before I do._ It was probably wisest to turn the subject, however, and after voicing a complaint that they were wasting perfectly good date time talking about Zoro, he proceeded to distract Nami by offering to give her a shoulder massage.

* * *

The day that Zoro’s mysterious visitor was due to arrive was sunny and humid. Yet despite the humidity, nearly all the Straw Hats were to be found somewhere above deck. Nami and Robin sat on deckchairs under a huge umbrella near Nami’s orange trees. Usopp wandered from one end of the ship to the other, pretending to look at some peculiar specks on the ocean through a telescope. Chopper, carrying a pair of binoculars, followed Usopp around. Franky, Luffy, Jinbe and Brook sat cross-legged on the floor near the helm and played cards (and Luffy alone of the four was playing purely out of fun and not out of a desire for an excuse to be out there when Zoro’s visitor arrived). Sanji remained indoors, but as he had to prepare the next meal, this surprised no one.

And Zoro? The last Usopp had seen of him, he was dozing next to his favourite dumbbells in the gym. 

He shook his head. It was odd. Zoro had a guest coming, and he was behaving as if he wasn’t expecting anyone. Were they wrong? Was his guest not a girlfriend after all? Or was it just some random acquaintance?

He swung the telescope towards the boarding bridge, which had been lowered earlier and now extended to the pier, awaiting Zoro’s mystery guest. No one approached.

Usopp wiped some drops of sweat off his brow. It really was hot. Chopper had even retreated to his office to cool off. He walked to the side and leaned over the railing, gazing longingly at the sea below. A dip in the sea sounded like a very good idea – the clear water looked so inviting; he could even glimpse some fish swimming about just below the surface.

The clearing of a throat drew his attention.

He looked up.

And nearly fell overboard.

Perona, Ghost Princess formerly of Thriller Bark, floated several feet above the side of the Thousand Sunny with a bag in one hand and a parasol in the other and observed with amusement the effect her appearance had on the Straw Hat Pirates. Two hollows floated around her and giggled.

It was looks of astonishment all round. Jinbe the Fishman appeared to be trying to remember where he’d seen her before. The skeleton – what was his name again? Brook? Ah, yes, that was it – looked rattled. Miss All-Sunday was surprised. The huge cyborg and the navigator girl had varying degrees of disbelief and suspicion in their faces. Their cute reindeer doctor had come bounding out of a room, stopped short when he saw her, and squawked in what she presumed was fright. Monkey D. Luffy had the least flattering reaction – he stared blankly at her and actually said, “Who’s that?” The nerve of him! But, well, from what Zoro said of him, that was an entirely normal response. At least Mr. Negative Long-Nose had satisfactory reactions. He’d yelled in horror at the sight of her, and now looked like he was having conniptions. Excellent.

On the other hand… Zoro had obviously not mentioned her to his friends. She wasn’t sure she liked that.

A door opened and a tall blond man emerged. She remembered him – the weirdo from Sabaody. Thankfully he didn’t start making creepy faces at her this time. He bowed slightly, and had an air of… Of… nonchalant smugness. That was interesting; _he_ seemed to have been expecting her. Well. He, at least, was aware of the situation.

Time to find that boyfriend of hers.

“Where is Zoro?” she asked. “And what _are_ you doing? I’m not a vampire nor am I a ghoul.”

Negative Long-Nose was waving a crucifix and violently shaking a huge saltshaker in her direction.

“I’ll have you remember that I – that I’m ALREADY NEGATIVE! So none of your ghost pets will work on me!”

“What? I’m not even trying to -”

“You just had to make an entrance,” said Zoro, coming up behind Usopp.

“Zoro!” yelped Usopp.

“Why, yes, I’m doing all right; thank you for asking, and it’s lovely to see you too,” said Perona. “I wouldn’t have had to ‘make an entrance’ if you were actually waiting for me. We haven’t seen each other since Sabaody and _that’s_ how you say hello?”

Zoro turned to Usopp, who was now glaring at Perona from behind him and also still holding up the crucifix. “Geez, quit it already! She’s not going to do anything to you. And that wouldn’t work anyway.” To Perona he said, “Are you going to stay up there the whole time or are you coming down here?”

“I’ve half a mind not to bother,” said Perona with a roll of her eyes as she began a slow – _extra slow_ – descent towards the Thousand Sunny. “Some greeting this is,” she muttered. “Why did I even come here?” He clearly hadn’t missed her. He’d barely even greeted her properly!

It wasn’t surprising; this was rather typical Zoro behaviour. But she couldn’t help feeling a little bit hurt.

Her boots made the faintest of taps on the floorboards. She set her bag down beside her, fluffed her skirt out a little more, and prepared herself to give Zoro a look of cool defiance because if he was going to be aloof, then so was she!

But Perona’s look of cool defiance got only a three-second appearance because Zoro strode across the deck, and kissed her. She melted instantly. Oh, it had been far too long! And if the way he was kissing her was any indication, he thought so too.

He broke away, breathing heavily, and said, “Does that pass for a greeting?”

Perona felt rather dazed, but not so dazed that she couldn’t summon the presence of mind to offer a coy smile and say, “Just barely.”

“Hmm, you’re right.” And with that, he drew her into another long kiss. Perona returned it with great fervor, burying her fingers in his hair and very much enjoying the feeling of his arms (with those _muscles_!) around her.

Chopper’s eyes bulged in surprise.

Brook’s lower jaw clattered to the floor.

Jinbe raised his eyebrows.

Robin said, “Oh my.”

Nami gasped.

Franky gave a long whistle.

Luffy said, “What’s he kissing her for?”

Sanji grinned and blew a puff of smoke into the air.

Usopp fainted.

**Author's Note:**

> I've been labouring over this fic for over a year now as the original intention was for it to be longer. But... though I have pieces written, they're just not coming together and/or I'm not inspired enough to write it all out and finish it. >_< So for now, this fic is "complete" - until and unless I manage to continue the rest of it. Maybe reader support is what I need? I don't know. But I figured I'd just post this part first (and hopefully not change my mind about the content here later...). Let's just take it as a comedic one-shot for now. heh
> 
> I hope it entertains someone at least!


End file.
